Here's to a New Year..

This year has been an extra rough one for me and Jeremy, as well as our family's. I've spoke of this numerous times and never really went into to much detail. This year has also brought tons of great things as well but it will forever be a year we will remember, and it has forever change our future. When I started to write this post it was hard to pick where to start so I just started when everything seemed to go downhill...

Mid August Jeremy's sweet step mom (Cina) started having eye trouble, her vision was blurred and was getting worse, almost to the point of complete blindness. She went into the doctor and come to find out there was a tumor pressing on her eye which was causing her to lose sight, this was terrible news but Jeremy assured me it was a very simple surgery and she would instantly regain her sight. Sure enough she had the surgery and she seemed great, felt fine was good as new and could see great. The day after the surgery his family left and went on a trip to Florida for a week... on August 20th (the day after they got back from there trip) Jeremy got a call that she had been admitted into the ER and we needed to get to the hospital, she had gained tons of body fluid overnight and she was having heart problems, they weren't quite sure what was going on just yet but they were running tons of tests and were trying to make her comfortable. Fast forward and few days later and I get a call right as I'm leaving work and it was my mom telling me to meet her at the hospital. Once I get there she tells me before we go in she needs to tell me what is going on. At this point I'm a little confused because so far I have been told everything is fine and she was feeling better. My mom then tells me she has been diagnosed with stage 3 Multiple Myeloma which is a very rare Bone Cancer. I was in complete shock, we cried together for awhile and talked about how we just couldn't believe all of this. Once we got to the room everyone was still in shock and some people were still receiving the news. The days after were full of prayers and family coming together, lots of hospital visits and many more tests were run. The weekend came around and she was released from the hospital to rest at home.

The day after she was released on August 28th Jeremy called me from a wake boarding park where he was spending the day with friends, he thought this would be a nice way for him to relax and get his mind off of things.... NOT!!! He told me he thought he had hurt his knee pretty bad. Well turns out after a night spent in the ER and a Doctors appointment later he was right it was pretty bad! He had completely blown his whole ACL, MCL and tore his meniscus! He was not in good shape to say the least. He was now told he would need surgery where a donor's tendon would replace his, he would have to do physical therapy for a good three/four months almost everyday, he wasn't allowed to do anything active for 6 months and it would take him a full year to reach a full recovery. If you know Jeremy this was devastating news, he is one of the most active people I know, the boy can't sit still for a minute, plus this and the bad news we had all just received seemed crazy to us. Little did we know it would get worse. A surgery date was made and a rather large leg brace was purchased!

A couple weeks later after getting used to hobbling around and getting used to this whole one leg thing the unthinkable happened. On September 12th around 9:00ish I received a text.. a text that I will forever remember, a text that made my heart drop and made me sick to my stomach...
"Lindsay Pappy died" I was caught off guard and stood there for a second just staring at my phone. I knew Jeremy would never text me that as a joke because you don't joke about something like that but I was just so caught off guard. I thought somehow it was a typo or something. He was just over there eating dinner with them about 2 or 3 hours earlier so why did I had a text saying this. I immediately tried calling Jeremy, I must have tried calling him 20 times till I received a call back he was balling and I couldn't understand him, I had never heard or seen Jeremy cry within the 10 plus years I've know him... I knew at that point what he had texted me was true, we cried together and he explained to me he had a heart attack, he told me what hospital they were at and I threw clothes on to meet him and his family there. I will never forget this night... ever.. When I first got there his mom was outside, I ran to her and we held each other just crying. I can't imagine what she was going through this was her father. I immediately thought of my mom when my Papa passed away I was in the 7th grade, he was one of my best friends and I was devastated, it was my first time to really experience loss and seeing my Nanny left all alone, I would never wish what my family and I felt on anyone else. My papa had a full year and 1 day of battling Melanoma, so we saw him sick and struggling, our hopes were always high and hopeful but it was more expected when he passed. We knew he was now in heaven and was free of pain. With Pappy it was so unexpected. Jeremy's mom lead me into the room where everyone was and there he was, just laying there. I have never been the type of person to go see the open caskets, I didn't even see my own Papa. I have never been very good with death, It seems so strange to me that there is this person laying there who a couple minutes ago was up walking around and now they are lifeless, I have to just tell my self that was just there body they used here on earth and there soul is now in heaven. It is such a strange concept to grasp but I do have to say us all sitting there with him he looked so peaceful and it was such good closure for me and J. Everyone gave him kisses and they took him away. He had such a beautiful service and was surrounded by so many wonderful people. He will be missed everyday and we all cannot wait to see you again sweet Pappy. Until then we will make every second of everyday matter and will celebrate this life the way you would have wanted. I am so blessed to have gotten to spend as much time with this great man as I did, I will cherish every last minute. Don't worry about sweet Meme we will take great care of her, Jeremy has already moved in and they are becoming quite good roommates.

I'm telling you these last few months of this year were one bad thing after another, I was actually scared to drive anywhere in fear that I would get in a wreck or something it was awful. I was always having to text Jeremy just to see what he was doing, making sure he was safe. But I will tell you the one bit of good news we got was GREAT news, Cina Jeremy's step mom had received some encouraging news. After being told there is nothing we can do for you, you have only a few months to live and much more terrible news she has found a wonderful doctor who was able to get her a new treatment and she is doing great, Jeremy has told me they are unsure of how many treatments she will have to endure but she is responding well and they are pretty sure they can get her into remission. I have to say Cina if your reading this you are one tough chick! If there is a definition of a strong tough woman who stays so unbelievably positive through it all it would be you, you are inspiring to watch and you are doing so great you are going to kick this things butt with flying colors!

Fast forward a little more and this now brings us to October 4th, Jeremy's surgery. He was nervous and excited to be getting this day finally over with. His surgery went great, they replaced the whole tendon and and it is now secured with two screws! He made many nurse friends in the recovery room, its amazing what a little anesthesia will do to ya! He was finally released and we got him home, it was Me, Jeremy's mom, My Mom, and Meme I'm sure these nurses were thinking oh my gosh look at these crazy ladies. We are all a little crazy about our sweet Jeremy, he's a special one!! His current residence is now with Meme, it really worked out wonderful for the circumstance's.. Jeremy's lease was up, he needed someone to take care of him and everyone was still in shock and grieving over the previous awful events.. they needed each other and I can't thank god enough for letting them be able to be there for each other. Jeremy needed Meme and Meme needed Jeremy.

 I love this quote, I found it from one of my favorite blogs The Weigands and I think it explains our year perfectly.

" I find beauty in not only the beautiful things in life, but the bittersweet and sad as well. To me, there is something poignantly lovely about the human experience from its splendor to its grief. God created all our emotions, not just the happy ones, and for His good purposes. That's why a good cry can feel so good. And hitting our limits forces us to look outside ourselves for a Savior. It is in the plea, when we're at our end, that we can find that which is truly life-giving. Personally, my moments of deepest grief, deepest pain, have resulted in the most beautiful seasons in my heart. I've met God more intimately in those moments than in all the other pleasant ones combined. What isn't completely lovely about that? "
- Leslie 

I am so glad to have this year over.. I'm sorry 2011 you weren't that great to us. But I am thankful for the experiences and things I have learned along the way.
I am thankful for my family.
I am thankful for being closer to Jeremy than we ever have before.
I am thankful for Jeremy's Family and becoming closer to them as well.
I am thankful for good health and for being blessed with this fortunate life.
I am most thankful for in these terrible times of need instead of grieving and falling apart
everyone became so much closer and we came together as a family.
I am also so very thankful for the funny great times that were mixed in there as well.

I have high hopes for 2012!
I see great things happening, and I cannot wait to share them with you.
I hope you all had a safe and Happy New Year.


  1. I'm so sorry to hear about your awful year, so many sad things :( I hope you have an amazing 2012!!!!

  2. Yup...definitely the worst year of my life.

  3. Wow, quite the year you had. Stay strong and hope for a happy healthy 2012!

    XO Shane

  4. what a year!! looking forward to reading what 2012 has in store for you!